giving thanks

while i've always been one of those people who aspire to the phrase "better late than never," i guess giving thanks over a week later is par for the course. some behaviors never change.

yes, i'm grateful and thankful that i have two beautiful daughters who are smart, healthy, energetic and never stop questioning/engaging the world....a daddyspark who has a ph.d. in domestic tasks- one which came without poking/prodding or a taser- yes, he does the laundry, empties the dishwasher and sweeps the wood floors. who knew a domestic goddess can lurk in male form.

other small aspects of my life that i am thankful for, which makes the unfolding of my days throughout the year worthwhile:

dale's pale ale- oh sweet cerveza which spills from the goddess, how would i have ever gotten through my teaching at night, knowing that i would come home to your beautiful red and blue embrace.

around the horn- thank you espn for making an enlightening sports show that can teach the best of us the most current sports news without having testosterone as a primary hormone in our system.

ipod nano- yes, i beat you up constantly when i hook you up to the car. i throw you next to the basket of keys without a wink. i suck your battery dry, forgetting that you too need some juice. but you keep me sane when i have a musical hankering for widespread panic, government mule, wilco, grateful dead or the occasional '80's flashback when i've just GOT to hear depeche mode's black celebration (yes, i admit it).

diamonds- no, not the jewel. my recreational soccer team of five years. thank you for showing me that the nine in the morning sunday soccer games is church. playing in the beautiful colorado outdoors for 90 minutes is like worshipping in the goddess' great cathedral.

loveland ski area- you've kicked my ass at skiing and though you have vertical drops called "slopes"which have made me eat my share of powder, i can't help but come back for more. (oh and your warm up huts double as a great place to watch the snowboarders hot box the place...very entertaining.)

flannel, fleece and wool clogs- get ready to start working for the next few months. i count on you to pull me through these frigid colorado winters...know that i'm grateful for you too and for keeping me warm as a write this. because without you, i couldn't keep my blog up and going....because damn, i'm thankful that i have a piece of internet space that can house my incessant ramblings of nothing.....

and that's something to be thankful for...better later than never.

reunited and it feels so good

dear scarletfire's blog,

i know i've been gone and damn, i hope you weren't too lonely. i mean, it's not like i didn't have any news or drama to share....it's just well, time slipped away from me. i'm not going to make excuses for my disappearance, but i do want to say that much has happened. please take me back.

i promise to try to come see you more often. i'll even fill you in with details about my indentured servitude called my job or my escapades being a walking kleenex to my girls' noses. I'll even throw in the some thoughts on how it feels to be walked by my bloodhound gus.

i'll make it worth your while. see you again soon.

shawna

catch up scarlet style

so the last time i posted the leaves were still on the trees, fleece hadn't made its way into the clothing rotation and holiday shopping was the last thing on my mind. while it's been some time since my fingers have hit the keyboard for personal ramblings, i often think about my little corner of internet space- how i'd like to capture the passing of time, even just for a brief moment.

october ended with a brief visit from my mom. bearing homemade halloween costumes and a hankering to tear up the neighborhood tavern (read, too many patron shots) ,we made the most of 5 nights and 4 days. and while halloween was a blur of candy and sugar meltdowns, the genie and pink lion made it all worth while.the first weekend of november took the scarlet family to victoria, british columbia. celebrating daddyspark's mom's 60th birthday, we took in an amazing city. visiting during remembrance day or the canadian version of veteran's day was quite an experience. no where have i heard the mentioning of peace in the same sentence as honoring veterans as i did in that country. it was refreshing to witness a celebration where everyone paid homage to the day. even if it meant wearing a red poppy.

victoria

view of victoria from our hotel room

and so that brings me to now. i'm trying to get back to normal after spending 5 days in las vegas attending to university business. while it was strange to be there for work, i did squeeze in some fun time. i met 2 original singers of the capris while swimming in the hotel pool and saw the grand opening red carpet affair at planet hollywood.

and that's catch up, scarlet style. until next time.

the illumination of leaves

with each celestial breath, the maples wistfully depart with summer’s translucent passing. magenta, rust and goldenrod glide earthbound toward the depths of memory.

the illumination of leaves in their gentle departure, bare the branches of heart; and in letting go, the promise of a new season insulates the now quiescent spring. change brings ecstatic pain.


after spending the past month contemplating my life course, i wonder now how all has transpired…or where i may find myself to be next time, this season. i hope i will find solace in the choices i have made and that the path that i have chosen will widen with each step forward.

like the sun following its ritualistic path across the sky, i too trace how each day informs my being and becoming.

birthday presents

while my birthday was officially last week, september certainly was a birthday month. i couldn't have asked for a better gift into my 35th year than what i received after my interview at the university.

i got the job.

so the past three weeks have been a whirlwind of becoming acclimated to the realities of assistant professorship. for me this has included inheriting a program we are beginning in las vegas. this entails offering courses in our department onsite in sin city. and though it seems simple enough to offer a master's class here and there at our sister site, the pragmatics of it are beyond complicated. oy.

and i'm also responsible for reconfiguring a certificate program that the department has offered, but has fallen by the wayside as of late. part of this task took me here:

and here....

and here......

yep, washington dc. for four days i had to meet with some heavy hitters and play financial hardball. this is not an easy game for me to play given that i have never represented a whole academic institution. but once the meetings concluded, i did do some sightseeing and was enthralled by the immense history this city has to offer. in essence, being there offered me the time to decompress over what i had experienced for the past 3 weeks and reflect on where i was going when i got back to denver. a much needed birthday present.

life is good and though i'm a bit frayed around the edges, needing quite a bit of more sleep everyday, i wouldn't change a thing professionally.

something old, something new, something blue, something who?

something old:

i saw the subhumans in concert last monday and boy, did it take me back to the early 80's punk genre. not only did i come out of it with a bruise and a hangover (pabst blue ribbon on tap= big no-no), i realize that watching teenagers stagedive and mosh isn't my idea of fun. i do have to say it was the best show of the week and gives me hope that when i'm 50 years old, i hope i can still have the spunk and enthusiasm of the lead singer.

something new:

on saturday i saw wilco in concert. i love this band. haven't listened to their music all that much, but right now it has filled the cd player in my car and is running continuously. i could listen to shot in the arm/via chicago/spiders/heavy metal drummer over and over and over....i'm pretty happy that i got out of my widespread panic rut with this band. and although the fillmore was stuffy and smelled of bo the whole night, i came out of there renewed, energized and ready for more.

something blue:

on sunday i saw yonder mountain string band in concert. i have been with this what-used-to-be-local band since '99 or so. they're kick ass, hard driving bluegrass i love. but since getting bigger and now playing at red rocks, their sound has changed and has made me sad....yes, a bit blue over the fact that my little band has grown up and turned into adults. i guess it was inevitable that it happened, but just like having children, you're not ready for them to leave the house.

something who?

who? who me? you mean me? me getting a phone call from a local private university to interview for an ASSISTANT professor position? me, the freak who can't even pull a doctorate out of her ass is interviewing for a REAL professorship? nah....can't be.

i'm still looking over my shoulder to see who this is really happening to. i interviewed with 3 of the pu's (private university's....hehehe...actually it's quite an appropriate acronym given academe in general) faculty last wednesday and got through to the next and final step. this means meeting with the academic dean and vice president of the college. oh my word. dust off the suit and heels...it's show time.

this happens tomorrow. yes, tomorrow afternoon. and if the speed of my heart is any indication of stage fright, it's gonna be a rough few hours. thank god for my handy dandy xanax prescription to calm these tatters nerves cause i'm gonna need it.

yes, i want it. want it bad. to move to the next level in a tenure track position is what i was striving for...i just didn't expect the possibility of it happening this soon. so, for this evening i'm going to wish upon a star, toast it with a jagerbomb and wish to god i hit a homerun.

shifting transitions

i'm not good with transitions. and though i own a car that is a stick shift...hey, i want to CONTROL my transitions into each gear as i climb the mountains....there is no such mechanism for life. don't hold on, it's all an automatic.

the oldest scarletspark has transitioned from being 7 years of age to beginning her 8th year on this planet. this occuring the first week of august, i'm still not used to the idea that she is becoming an adolescent. i see her grappling with what it means to be a girl...asking questions that clearly are meant to clarify her identity. we had a lengthy discussion on what it means to be a "fancy girl" which she strongly noted that i am not. this because, well, mom plays sports, wears pants and rarely paints her face or nails. who knew that being fancy took that much work?

......emma shoots her own self portrait.....

the youngest scarletspark has transitioned to first grade, becoming a full fledged school-aged child. i see her thriving amongst her peers already and though she is still the most petite of the group, she still insists on hanging with the boy posse. and while i caught her peeing like a boy the other day in the bathroom..."mom, i like peeing like that...it's fun to put the seat up"....she still wears dresses everyday. it's confusing to be 6, coming to understand social norms.

.....emma capturing her sister......

daddyspark has just transitioned from being a doctoral student to doctor. three months of writing his dissertation to completion has officially stripped away the "high school dropout" that he once was. a ph.d. six years in the making will do that.

and well, myself, i find that the lines that have etch-a-sketched themselves permanently into the corners of my eyes are reminders of my own transitions....to not hold on too tightly to this time right now....enjoy the last month of being 34....get your ass in gear to finish the ph.d....prepare for the new class, new students you will be teaching in a month....love every moment as it passes to the next.....and not forgetting to shift to fifth gear and let go.