shifting transitions

i'm not good with transitions. and though i own a car that is a stick shift...hey, i want to CONTROL my transitions into each gear as i climb the mountains....there is no such mechanism for life. don't hold on, it's all an automatic.

the oldest scarletspark has transitioned from being 7 years of age to beginning her 8th year on this planet. this occuring the first week of august, i'm still not used to the idea that she is becoming an adolescent. i see her grappling with what it means to be a girl...asking questions that clearly are meant to clarify her identity. we had a lengthy discussion on what it means to be a "fancy girl" which she strongly noted that i am not. this because, well, mom plays sports, wears pants and rarely paints her face or nails. who knew that being fancy took that much work?

......emma shoots her own self portrait.....

the youngest scarletspark has transitioned to first grade, becoming a full fledged school-aged child. i see her thriving amongst her peers already and though she is still the most petite of the group, she still insists on hanging with the boy posse. and while i caught her peeing like a boy the other day in the bathroom..."mom, i like peeing like that...it's fun to put the seat up"....she still wears dresses everyday. it's confusing to be 6, coming to understand social norms.

.....emma capturing her sister......

daddyspark has just transitioned from being a doctoral student to doctor. three months of writing his dissertation to completion has officially stripped away the "high school dropout" that he once was. a ph.d. six years in the making will do that.

and well, myself, i find that the lines that have etch-a-sketched themselves permanently into the corners of my eyes are reminders of my own transitions....to not hold on too tightly to this time right now....enjoy the last month of being 34....get your ass in gear to finish the ph.d....prepare for the new class, new students you will be teaching in a month....love every moment as it passes to the next.....and not forgetting to shift to fifth gear and let go.

who says you can't go home

3 weeks to the day last month is how long the scarletsparks and i were on the road. 9 states, 3 extended stops, 1 broken wrist, 8 six packs of microbrews as co-pilots, 1 thule topper packed to the brim with 4 bags of seashells, 2 t shirts and 4 bottles of california wine. all equated to 1 amazing, bonding and unforgettable experience between mother and daughters.

the breakdown:

week 1: leave at 3am, drive through colorado, utah, arizona, nevada to the central coast of california....all in one day. 18 hours in the "jd", ie my 2007 subaru outback. thank goddess for monster drinks, dill pickle flavored sunflower seeds and the tunes of widespread panic on the ipod or we wouldn't have gotten to my parent's house in one piece.

while at grandma and grandpa's, we played in morro bay ,

hung out with grandma's chickens,

went to a family reunion in the bay area, that believe it or not had a goat in attendance. and last but not least before departing mid california, i broke my wrist in line skating with my oldest friend brandi. which ended me up in the ER and with this:

note to self: wear wrist guards and stop pretending you're 13 years old and invincible on blades.

week 2: drive up highway 101 in california through some of my favorite counties. we stopped in santa rosa to visit a much beloved watering hole,

then headed back up sonoma and mendocino counties to our destination, arcata. being back in humboldt county after living there for 6 years of my life and going to school at hsu was like returning home. seeing my old jaunts took me back to life pre-kid, when all i cared about was cashing in my student loan to sponsor my barhops and grateful dead tours while praying that i would pass my philosophy exams toward a ba.

while in humboldt i purchased all of the microbrews that instigated a so far 16 year love affair with IPA and small batch beer and visited the redwood forest,

week 3: get a speeding ticket while leaving california to enter into oregon. travel up highway 5 into portland then toward washington, ending up in the olympic peninsula. here we visited nana and grandpa scott. we went to the lavendar festival where we picked bushels of the fragrant herb to bring home and took a ride on grandpa's boat into the ocean,

we left washington on our first ferry ride where jd, the girls and i were loaded on a boat toward seattle.

in one day, we travelled through washington, oregon, idaho and into utah. stayed overnight in utah to find our way through wyoming, back down into the mile high city.

our trek was quite a venture of the spirit. travelling through towns, cities and countrysides of my youth truly has made me realize that the roads i have passed through before have provided an internal streetmap for who i am today. like roadsigns which navigate a forward course and destination, warning the driver of turns and steep grades, the stops i made in 3 weeks have reminded me that you can go home. and in doing so, are able to return again to one's abode with a clearer sense of self, a self found only through miles tread. ........in idaho, the view behind from jd.......